The Fifth Commandment – Man’s Compelling Interaction with G-d

 

In my last article, I mentioned that the Fifth Commandment, the Mitzvah to “honour thy father and mother” is a subject that has engaged many commentators. The core of that deliberation rests on the question as to whether that directive relates to Man’s interaction with his fellow Man or to that between Man and G-d.

I also pointed out in that article that it is the only Commandment which carries a reward, a Divine reward, “So that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your G-d gives you.”  Moreover, in D’varim (Deuteronomy) 5:15, the Divine incentive for following that commandment is expanded. Not only will one live a long life for honouring their parents, but they “will also prosper” on the land that G-d gives them. Hence, it, further, reinforces the concept that this Mitzvah is not only restricted to the realm of humans but is closely connected and anchored in our relationship with G-d, its author.

The importance of revering our parents has been stressed by numerous Jewish scholars. Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai, for instance, asserts that G-d favours honouring one’s parents over exalting Him.

Both Ramba”n and Rabbi Shlomo Ephraim of Lutschitz rationalize the importance of this Commandment by asserting  that just as we are required to revere G-d, our Creator, so should we honour those who are His partners in our creation. In the words of Chaza”l, “there are three partners in the creation of Man: G-d, his father and his mother. When a Man honours his mother and father, G-d said: ‘I consider it as though I live among them and am respected by them”” (Kidushin 30:51). As Rabbi Sacks ZT”L points out, “G-d is seen in the Torah as a father, a parent, ’My first born son Yisrael’” (Shemot 4:22).

In his attempt to summarize parent - child relationship, Ramba”m suggests that our parents are in a sense our Torah. Our parents’ authority is akin to the word of G-d. They are the source of our heritage and code of conduct in the same way that the Torah is the foundation of our Divine legacy (Hilchot Mamrim).

Ramba”n, who links the Fifth Commandment to the first four ones which solely address the relationship between Man and G-d, proposes that the ways to honour our parents are “too numerous to count.” On one issue, however, scholars agree. Though children are obligated to help their parents with any chore, they should refuse to partake in any activity which offends G-d. Ramba”m adds that even when disagreeing with a parent, the child should do it in a dignified manner.

Rabbi Shlomo Ephraim of Lutschitz elaborates on this point.  In his book “Kli Yakar,” he notes that the proximity between the Fourth Commandment to “Remember the Shabbat” and the following Fifth one proves that the will of G-d precedes the directive to honour our parents. At the heart of both these commandments, though, rests the duty to honour G-d. Shabbat reminds us that G-d created the world and thus we should honour Him. Shabbat teaches us that there is one big Father in the universe and that His wish surpasses that of our small father, our physical one. These two commandments are further linked in Vayikra (Leviticus 19:3), “Each of you must respect your mother and father, and you must observe my Shabbats. I am the Lord your G-d.”

Additional support and confirmation of the unique and discernable interconnection between Man and G-d, in the Fifth commandment, is provided in this week’s Parashah, “Mishpatim.”

In it, the Torah elaborates on the forms of punishment for two forms of transgressions against one’s parents. The first is “Whoever strikes his father, or his mother shall be put to death” (Shemot 21:15). The second, “Anyone who curses their mother and father must be put to death” (Shemot 21:17). The kind of execution differs between the two, again, pointing at the interconnectedness between the Fifth Commandments and Man’s relationship with G-d.

The Gemara (Sanhedrin 66:71) asserts that death by stoning is the punishment for the first sin. In contrast, the punishment for the second one is death by strangulation (Sanhedrin 84:72). Judging by the four forms of biblical death penalties, stoning, burning, beheading and strangulation, the first is the most painful whereas the last is the least.

Ramba”n reasons that the act of cursing is more severe than that of striking in two ways. The first, it is more common thus the severe punishment is used as a deterrent to prevent it from deteriorating to a physical attack. The second, which again stresses the interrelation between the Fifth Commandment and the first four, is that cursing is not only a transgression against one’s parents but against G-d as well since, in the Torah, a curse includes the mentioning of  G-d’s name in vain which goes against the Third Commandment.

Honouring one’s parents is a practice that should go without saying.  It is a logical one, a basic moral debt which is consensual the world over. Am Yisrael, though, is the only People for whom it is a Commandment, one which is decreed by G-d!.