Shivah – Paying Homage to The Living, Not the Dead

 

Special thanks go to Roger Froikin for his assistance and advice.

Many of us have heard the Hebrew term “Shivah” (seven) which is the first stage of mourning in Jewish tradition. The others include, the first thirty (“Shloshim”) days counting from the burial and the one-year period from the day of death.

 Shivah is the course of the seven days (or less if interrupted by a Holy Day or Shabbat) following the burial of a family member. This custom had existed even before the giving of Torah and can be traced to Bresheet 50:10 where Yoseph declared seven days of mourning following the death of Ya’akov, his father.  The Jerusalem Talmud states that it is an enactment of Moshe, “just as Moshe enacted seven days of rejoicing after marriage, so, too, he enacted seven days of mourning (shivah).” (Jerusalem Talmud, Ketubot 1:1)

Unfortunately, some, especially some of our fellow Jews, as I found out, merely a few days ago, are vaguely familiar with or understand, the depth of the concept and its purpose.

A dear friend shared with me that when her late father passed away, it was her mother’s wish that they refrain from sitting Shivah following his burial. Naturally, I raised my eyebrows and before I was able to utter a word, she added, “It is ok, we, immensely, respected him, anyway.”

As a staunch believer in practicing liberties, especially Freedom of choice, I elected to remain silent. I was, however, deeply disturbed by her lack of knowledge and comprehension of the intent of such a practice.

It is important to note that once the Shivah begins, it is the mourners who become the focus of attention. Naturally, these are not easy days. The grief of the loss of a dear one is heart wrenching, emotionally and physically draining and takes a toll on the ones close to the deceased. It is during such times that the community is there to support them, help them and comfort them.

In Judaism, it is a Mitzvah to visit friends and relatives who are sitting Shivah. A Mitzvah is not merely a “good deed.” It is not something one is supposed to do just because Torah tells us to do. It is an act that is intended to do good to its performer. Supporting a relative, a friend or an acquaintance who is in need is a sign of true friendship.

Comforting the mourner, however, does not mean distracting them from the misfortune that they had been through. Being surrounded with visitors who through talking and speaking about the loved one they lost provides the mourners with soothing help and assistance in the healing process and the reconciliation with reality.

Most importantly, The practice of Shivah is aimed at aiding to restore and support a healthy psychological response to mourning and loss. This period serves as a distraction from the negative emotions of the mourning stage that the remaining family members must endure. It removes them from the regular daily duties and responsibilities of life.

Judaism is not the only faith that adheres to such a practice. Other peoples and other cultures have evolved similar effective means of dealing with the loss of loved ones.

There is plenty of research conducted in the last seventy years which links such a practice with good post-loss mental health, social adjustment, and job effectiveness.

So, we should continue to respect the dead, honour them, pay them homage, and continue to act in accordance with the lessons they have taught us in love.

But we need to remember that the custom of “Shivah” is for us, The Living, more than it is for them, the dead.

Shavua tov to all. May we all be blessed with abundant health and a long life.

A Miracle called "The Jewish People"

 

“Every day, many a miracle happens to the sons of Israel. Were it not for G-d’s miracles, we should -Heaven forbid! – have perished long ago” – Yonatan Eibschutz

“There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” – Albert Einstein

Our long and eventful Jewish history is without doubt a testimonial to the first quote. Channukah, but one example, is always reminiscent of G-d’s marvels, past and present. Our entire Jewish existence, I believe, is a unique phenomenon. Each Jew, irrelevant of whether they regard themselves as such or not, is a miracle.

Some Jews, unfortunately, fail to see their lives as such. They are the ones Einstein is referring to in the former part of his quote. Others, like myself, live our lives as Jews “as though everything is a miracle,” as though each and every one of us is a wonder on their own.

Before anyone jumps at me and accuses me of arrogance or practicing some form of  “Jewish elitism,” let me explain.

As many of my readers know, both my parents were Shoah survivors. To have come out of the abyss, from the netherworld, to have survived its infernal fires, to have been reborn, gather the shambles of one’s life and build a bigger better temple, raise a family and rebuild trust in a vile world is miraculous. That, coupled with resuming to live one’s life as though “everything is a miracle,” eventually turns one into a miracle.

The fabric of our Jewish history is woven with many such astounding stories. “Miracle” is our Jewish middle name.

Much to my dismay, though, some fellow Jews continue to regard our existence as the first part of Einstein’s words suggest. “We were always meant to be a small nation,” told me a Jewish acquaintance once when I bemoaned that we are losing too many Jews to assimilation. According to her, there is nothing miraculous about our two thousand years of enduring, persecution, pogroms, discrimination and forced conversion. These were, if I follow her logic, merely some milestones to ensure that we fulfilled our destiny to remain a small nation. What a slap in the face of our Jewish heritage such a view is. In her perspective, so it seems, we are just like everyone else, just a nation among the nations with no unusual history, no unique set of beliefs and no Torah. She is, of course, entitled to hold that belief.

I, however, refuse to prescribe to that kind of a notion. I believe in miracles.

I consider my parents’ survival and the survival of many of our Jewish brothers and sisters through hard and dangerous times, a miracle. Moreover, to have been born to a miracle, by default, makes one a miracle. I am a daughter of two miracles. Hence, my birth, my gift of Life is, itself, a miracle.

Furthermore, I hold the view that a miracle should never be wasted. To preserve one’s life as a miracle, one needs to recreate miracles, spend their time on this earth, strive relentlessly and act constantly in a way that would keep the miracle going.

In the words of our wise Talmud, “Hope for a miracle but don’t depend on one.” (Megillah 7b)

In other words, miracles do not just happen. One should never depend on them.

In my words, one should keep the faith, never give up and create a fertile ground for miracles to transpire. That, too, as our few millennia old Jewish history, has proven, is attainable .

May this Channukah season be full of miracles and every blessing to all

Judaism and Health

“The well-being of the soul can be obtained only after that of the body has been secured.” Moses Maimonides.

The maintenance of good health has been of prime importance in Judaism. Cleanliness, in Judaism, is a duty that is prescribed by G-d and the Torah has dedicated several portions to dealing with the matter. It is essential to Holiness, we are told, one of the attributes of the relationship between G-d and Am Yisrael, Am Kadosh (“For you are a People Holy to the Lord your G-d” Deuteronomy 14:2). This week’s Parashah, Tazria, is, likewise, dedicated to this fundamental duty.

The Talmud also stresses the importance of cleanliness. It decreed various ordinances relating to the gravity of hygiene, personal and public. One of them, for instance, compels Jews to wash their hands many times during the day in what is known as the ritual of of Netilat Yadayim, the washing of the hands. A Jew could not eat without performing that ritual first. Jews were required to wash their hands, after leaving the bathroom and following any intimate engagement.

I can almost see some eyebrows being raised at reading this directive. Though, in today’s world, for many of us the need to wash one’s hands is obvious and has become part of our behavioural patterns, in past times it was far from being the usual sanitary standard.  In this respect, Judaism was unique. It was a custom that, on more than one occasion, helped preserve our People.

One example that comes to mind is the Black Plague that swept through Europe during the 14^th century. At the time, many claimed that the Jews died at only half the rate of the general population. That, provided it is true, can be attributed to sanitary customs prescribed by Jewish law. These also include the emphasis on strict burial practices which among others also helped stop the spread of the bubonic plague and typhus among other epidemics.

Another example to the Jewish emphasis on health and which is more closely related to this week’s Parashah is the value of family purity.

I remember years ago, as part of my studies towards a graduate degree in Public Health Administration (M.P.H.) at UC Berkeley in the late 70’s, I attended an Epidemiology course. During one of the lessons, our lecturer mentioned that doctors and scientists found correlation between the lower incidence of cervical cancer and the observance of the laws pertaining to family purity by Jewish women than among their counterpart in the general population.

This was later further confirmed in an article entitled “ Mitzvah and Medicine: Gender, Assimilation and the Scientific Defense of ‘Family Purity’,” written by Beth S. Wenger and published by the Indiana University Press (Vol.5,1/2, Autumn, 1988-Winter, 1999). The abstract of the article states:
“Between 1920 and 1940, the medical community joined religious commentators in advocating abstention from intercourse during a woman’s menstrual flow, as dictated by Jewish Law. Physicians and scientists observed that Jewish women suffered from cervical cancer less frequently than their non-Jewish counterparts. Attributing these statistics to Jewish ritual observance, medical experts found rational grounds for supporting the maintenance of religious custom.”

In addition to earning my aforementioned M.P.H. degree, I also completed my diploma as a Personal Trainer in Health and Fitness (http://www.bat-zion.name/html/the_art_of_living_well.html). As part of that, I regularly research the subject and am always in awe to learn more on how our Jewish tradition and some of our great Jewish scholars like Maimonides and others were leaders in this area long before the other parts of humanity.

Shabbat Shalom

Gematria, another attestation that Torah can be interpreted only through Hebrew, Jewish eyes

                                                                   

Two nights ago, I attended a lecture that left me with a burning desire to want to pursue a subject I know very little about. It evoked in me the strong sensation that has been sweltering in me and reaffirmed yet again that Jewish Scriptures can be interpreted only by Jewish sages, only through the experiences of Am Yisrael and only in Hebrew. It further helped disperse any aspiration and any attempts by non-Jews to try to define and dictate to us, Jews, the meaning of Jewish concepts and beliefs through their erroneous vision, clouded by their alien creeds and foreign tongues.

The lecture discussed the week’s Torah portion and the upcoming Holiday of Purim. It was presented by Rabbi, Avraham Ha’Cohen. Rabbi Ha’Cohen employed his skill and expertise in a field called Gematria as he was addressing these issues and presenting them from a different perspective, one that was new to many of those present, all of whom were Jews. It left many of us with open mouths and in awe. I can only imagine how lost non-Jews might have felt in the presence of such an authority on the subject.

For those who are unfamiliar with the term “Gematria,” here is a brief outline of it.

Gematria, also known as Jewish numerology, is unique only to Hebrew. Its underlying principle is that each letter has a numerical equivalent. Conferring with Kabbalah, if two words or phrases share the same number, they are considered to possess some significant connection. According to David Komer of Ohr Hatorah, “Gematria reveals a deeper set of correspondences as seen in the literal text and points to an entire mathematical structure underlying the Torah. Similar to how physics and chemistry rest on a mathematical foundation, so too, deeper dimensions of Torah are revealed though gematria.” No other language possesses this kind of inner meaning that forms the fibers of its universe and creates one world where every piece of the puzzle adds another dimension to its understanding and insight. It is unique to Hebrew only.

Komer further notes that “The Hebrew letters are explained to be the building blocks of creation. Similar to how a physicist or chemist would describe the world as consisting of atoms, particles, molecules and elements, the Jewish tradition describes this same function to the Hebrew letters. Although the language of science and Torah are different they are both describing the same reality.”

It is not only Kabbalah that employs Gematria. The Talmud and Rashi also use this technique of learning, on occasion, in order to point out a cogent idea. Gematria has been used as well by a wide range of commentators throughout the ages. In as much as Kabbalah seeks to make known the oneness of God and the interconnectedness of all reality, Gematria assumes a major role in revealing this through the Torah text.

I am aware that an example to what I have presented above is begging to be given. Out of utter veneration for the profound essence of the subject which holds a universe on its own and out of the desire to uphold its sacredness, however, I will not endeavor it. My lack of learnedness in the field will do it horrific injustice

Now, how many non-Jewish sages have dealt with the subject of Gematria and in the effective manner that Jewish ones have? How many of them can claim to have attained the knowledge required to even try their hand at it? Few, if any.

Why, one may ask? Because Gematria is as foreign to them as Hellenism is to Judaism. Only a Jew can and knows how to use that tool effectively. Why? Because it is designed only for Hebrew the language of Am Yisrael, the language that is inseparable from our tradition, from our civilization, not better, not worse than others but merely a unique civilization. It is the tool employed only by  the language it was created for and can most accurately describe the distinctive soul of our Jewish nation and the brickwork of who we are.