Be Beautiful

 

We have entered the Ten Days of Awe which is the period between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.

For many Jews, it means days of introspection and re-evaluation of their demeanor during the previous year. It is a solemn period which many take very seriously.

For the sake of our People and the future of our Jewish Homeland, I sincerely hope that many do examine their actions, improve their deeds and continue to choose Life.

Yes, I know, Life is not always what we want it to be. We are faced with choices, good and bad, daily. To exist in this world is to survive unfair choices. But are we here just to exist? No, we are here not merely to exist or survive, we are here to Live. I believe that everyone of us, born into and reared in our wonderful Jewish tradition and legacy has the power to make a difference. All they need to do is want. Some,  unfortunately, are forlorn and need guidance and support along that journey.

The notion of providing people with tools, that I had only recently discovered, to help them through the “road less traveled” first  sprouted in me when I lived in New Zealand.

It was the early years of this century. I had just gone through a very traumatic business experience which nearly destroyed my life. I could not indulge in the status of victimhood for too long. I had a daughter, whom I raised single handedly after I divorced her father, to support. I needed to be strong for her.

In the midst of the chaos, an inner voice told me to join a gym and engage a personal trainer. That was one of the most meaningful milestones in my life.

Two years later, I participated in a body sculpting competition and won first prize in the senior category. As I stood there holding the trophy, I felt the inner glow of timeless beauty. The discovery of a new layer in me, one I had never known existed was overwhelming. A decision sprouted in me to become a personal trainer in health and fitness and a Life Coach. I chose to focus on maturing women, a segment in our population which was rather neglected.

Towards that end, I set up my own business, “The Art of Living Well,” (http://www.bat-zion.name/html/the_art_of_living_well.html) (http://www.bat-zion.name/artoflivingwell/)

The underlying concept of my practice was to help women peel off dusted inner covers and bring out the hidden beauty in each one. “Be Beautiful” became my motto.

To emphasize that goal, I even ordered a personal license plate for my car which reads:   

Some might read it as “Be Buttfull” but that would be dichotomous to my mission. After all no one hires a personal trainer to increase the size of their behind…….

Beautiful, not just pretty (for that we have beauticians and plastic surgeons) is what I was hoping to help bring out in them.

I was not always successful. However, those lives that I was able to touch cloaked  me with optimism. It was wonderful to see them discover the divine present of their inner essence, to see frozen rivers in them gradually melting away. The wonderful process through which they learn to be grateful for the small miracles in their lives and to be witness to them starting to live as they had never lived before was the greatest reward.

Discovering one’s inner beauty, the one that has been part of us since time immemorial, is the key to healing ourselves. We need to stop looking at each other with superficial eyes. We are each a universe with similar desires, dreams, and urges.

If we learn to recognize the beauty that is hidden in each of us and bring it out, we could light our Life’s path that will help guide us through the forests of reality and reshape the terrain of our lives. It will put us in charge of our destiny.

Amazing, as I am writing these lines, I hear the Shofar blowing loudly outside my home (because of the pandemic, it was sounded outdoors, this year) for Am Yisrael to hear. I can feel my eyes welling and the pressure of the growing lump in my throat. I cannot help but see the symbolism in the timing of it all.

The word Shofar originates from the same root of the word “improve.” The Shofar is blown to remind us that on Rosh Hashanah we need to improve ourselves and our ways. It is believed that if one makes a wish during the sounding of the Shofar, that wish will come true.

Remain beautiful, dear people and get better at it. That is my wish.

Shanah Tova Am Yisrael and fellow Jews.

 

G-d, Parents and Children

 

Rosh Hashanah marks the beginning of the Jewish New Year. On that day are all supposed to be in a festive mood, dress in white and, of course, blow the Shofar (ram’s horn).

What many do not know is that, on Rosh Hashanah, we skip the magnificent Torah portion, “Ha’azinu” in Devarim (Deuteronomy) 32. Instead, we read from Parashat “Vayera” in Bresheet (Genesis).

Vayera, which is read, in parts, over the two days of Rosh Hashana, narrates the birth of Yitzchak, the son of Avraham and Sarah, the banishment of Hagar and her son, Yishmael, and ends with the binding of Yitzchak.

G-d, as we learn from it, remembers His promise to Sarah and blesses her and Avraham with a son, Yitzchak who is circumcised at the age of eight days.  Sarah, who is concerned about the future of her son demands that Avraham banish Hagar, her maid, along with, Yishmael, who Avraham sired. “Cast out this slave woman with her son, for the son of this slave woman shall not be heir with my son Isaac,” she tells Avraham in Bresheet 21:10. Avraham does not like it but listens to G-d who commands him to obey to Sarah. Avraham acquiesces and Hagar and her son end up in the desert and are, later, saved by an angel of G-d.

Many, myself included, have difficulties with this narrative. Although G-d stands behind Sarah’s decision, banishment into the desert is, still, a harsh verdict, particularly one that is executed by a parent, in this case Avraham.

Without underestimating or belittling the suffering of Hagar and Yishmael, which resulted from Avraham’s move, it is important to look at this episode in the context of practices in the ancient world where our narrative takes place. I am referring, particularly, to those pertaining to the inheritance rights of the son of a maid/slave in the circumstances of our story. These, as we learn, seem to be Sarah’s main concerns.

Rabbi Elchanan Samet suggests that for that purpose, we turn to the Hammurabi Code of Law which reflects the social and legal norms of that period, at least in Mesopotamia.

Article 170 of this Code states that if a man’s main wife bore his children and so did his maid, the father shall bequeath all he owns to the children from his main wife, during his life. If the father passes away without declaring the rightful inheritors, his assets will be divided equally between all of his offspring regardless of who their mother was.

Hagar was never the legal wife of Avraham. Sarah was. Hagar was a maid and a servant who bore a son, Yishmael, to Avraham when Sarah thought that she was barren.  Yishmael was never the legal heir of Avraham.  Now that Sarah has her son, she is the Lady of the house and wishes to secure her son’s future and ensure that he is the sole inheritor. Avraham is old, and Sarah, the worried mother, wishes him to affix it while he is alive. Banishing Hagar is removing last hurdle that stands between her and her goal.

Nevertheless, should Hagar and Yishmael be “cast out” after all those years?

Avraham does not really “cast” her out. In chapter 21 verse 14, the Torah tells us that Avraham “sent her away.” There is a softening of the verb “cast” by replacing it with the verb “send” which, in a way, mirrors Avraham’s sentiments and the nature of his actions. In Biblical context sending away generally means releasing or letting go. The same verb “send,” incidentally, is also used in the Torah pertaining to the releasing of slaves. Might it be possible that this is what the case is here?

I turn, again, to the Hammurabi Code. Article 171 of it does address an issue similar to the one discussed here. According to it, if, while he is alive, the father does not will anything to his offspring from his maids or mistresses, then they will receive nothing. Following his death, the release of the maid and her children will be secured, and the children of the main wife will not turn them into slaves.

Since Avraham has already decreed that Yitzchak is his sole successor, we would expect that Hagar and Yishmael  will be freed, accordingly. In the act of “sending them away” Avraham is, as it seems, in accordance with the customs as practiced in his world, the ancient world. As far as “the desert” scene is concerned, let us not forget that entire land of Canaan was  a desolate wilderness in those days.

On the second day of Rosh Hashanah, we read the account of the binding of Yitzchak. It tells us that G-d commands Avraham to sacrifice his son, Yitzchak, to Him.

Sacrificing the first-born son to Molech, an Amonite deity worshipped also in Canaan, was common practice in ancient times. The Torah strongly condemns and forbids such a act. Avraham, again, as in the case of Hagar, accepts the verdict without protesting or questioning it. It is clear from the text (Chapter 22:1) that G-d was testing Avraham and the extent of his dedication to Him. Still, why did G-d choose that specific experience to put to the test Avraham’s devotion to Him?

It seems that G-d’s directive was not aimed to see whether Avraham was ready to slaughter his son. As mentioned above, in the context of the times, the practice was common and everyone sacrificing their son to Molech would have done it willingly.

The underlying cause for that stems from the deepest levels of Avraham’s faith in G-d. Throughout the exchanges between G-d and Avraham, G-d repeatedly promises Avraham that he will have great and powerful posterity. If Yitzchak dies, those promises will never be kept.

In my view, it is not only Avraham that is put to the test. In Avraham’s eyes, it is also G-d that is being assessed. Yet, he never complains, never questions, or protests the decree.

His unconditional faith in G-d, regardless of whether G-d keeps His promise to him or not, is what Avraham is put on trial for in this episode. Avraham did not fail and was blessed for it. Just as he was about to put the knife to Yitzchak’s throat, an angel called Avraham from heaven telling him to stop. A ram appeared in the bushes nearby and was sacrificed to G-d instead of Yitzchak. That is the reason we use a ram’s horn to make the Shofar.

The lesson of this Parashah is clear. Life is going to present us with many challenges and rattling experiences where we will need to make hard choices. As long as we, old and young, parents and children adhere to our belief in G-d, choose Life, do Justice and practice Hope, we shall always prevail.

May we all have a great year padded with abundant health and only good news.